NBA Awards, Wire-style

Ya sue me, I'm stealing a page from the artist formerly known as The Sports Guy, currently known as Rick Reilly the 2nd.

Presenting NBA Awards set to legendar quatations from the greatest TV show that has ever existed:

1. "My name is my name!" Marlo, Season 5 --- To the MVP of the NBA, Kobe Bryant.
Kobe might not be having the best statistical year of his career or the best season in the NBA, but, hey, his name is Kobe and he hasn't won one yet; couple that with the noticeable absense of individual accolades beside his three NBA titles, and that he's been the most complete and marketable superstar of the post-Jordan era (face it, big men just dont sell like they used to) and its becoming a farce that he has yet to notch an MVP.

2. "They do not get to win. We get to win!" McNulty, Season 3 --- To the Coach of the Year, Byron Scott
As much as credit must be bestowed on Chris Paul, the MVP candidate if Kobe had won one before, Scott has been the underlying, demanding presence that has pushed this team to a surreal level. When the Hornets were flying high at mid-season, not many experts thought they'd keep pace in the decade's toughest conference. But Scott and Paul have been willing this team to victory night after night and they've established themselves as an elite force.

3. "What the f*ck did I do?" McNulty, Repeated --- To the 6th Man, Manu Ginobli
I think that quote basically explains itself. He may be one of the most efficient players around, but when you think Manu, you gotta think of the classic "hands up in disbelief and blank stare at the ref" look. He's perfected it.

4. "I'll do what I can to help ya'll. But the game's out there, and it's either play, or get played." Omar, Season 1 --- To the Defensive Player of the Year, Kevin Garnett
Can't you picture the ever-humble KG sitting in an office, staring down Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers, saying this exact line. Well, just as putting their trust in Omar paid off for McNulty and the Justice System, so too has trusting KG paid off for the Celtics. And I'd say that the Celtics chose to play rather than get played. No amount of hyperbole justifies how much KG has meant to this C's team (so has he revolutioned a team, a city, a culture, or a human race?). It's not just his intensity and defensive prowess; but for some reason, the team's biggest question marks (Rondo and Perkins), as well as a number of seemingly average bench guys, have been playing outstanding, consistent basketball for 5 months. Most of that credit has to go to KG.

5. "You know I don't take this sh*t too serious" - "Oh ya right, it's just business." Stringer Bell and Avon, Season 3 --- To the Executive of the Year, Danny Ainge
Avon knows he's setting best friend Stringer up to die during their final scene together. Well, I'm sure Danny Ainge felt pretty similar when he was discussing the KG trade with his friend and former teammate Kevin McHale. Who knows what role personal relationships played in the Celtic's acquiring KG, but we do know that one move locked up Ainge's bid for this award before the season even started.

6. "Game's the same, just got more fierce." Slim Charles, Season 3 --- To the Western Conference Playoff Race
Who saw this one coming? When Cutty gets out of jail and back into the game, he is shocked at how much has changed. Well, it was as if NBA fans were locked up for a few years and let out halfway into this season. It has been a thrill to watch the West this year. The NBA has always been criticized for the lack of intensity in games during the doldrums of the season; for that reason many hoops fans, including myself, generally take an NBA mid-season sabbatical and flock to the college ranks. Well, not this season. The intensity has been sky-high for nearly three months now and it isn't letting up. The Western Conference this year is the drug game replacing bats with guns. It's the same game, just more fierce.

7. "Lesson here, Bay...you come at the king, you best not miss." To the Eventual NBA Champs, the San Antonio Spurs
Every year, around this time, they find their top gear to make a late-season and postseason run, which is a remarkable feat they're able to accomplish on a consistent basis. Remember the Patriots' season? They were lauded as the best team in the history of the NFL, but many experts who had them as locks to win the Super Bowl ignored their late-season struggles. It is increasingly difficult, and in most cases a matter of luck, to turn the switch on. There are two types of great teams: those, like the Celtics, who play entire seasons with the switch on. And there are those, like the Spurs, who have become adept at knowing when and how to turn it on. Many teams can peak at any time, as the Rockets have, but only the great ones peak in the playoffs. And only the true dynasties do it consistently.

8. "I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase" Omar, Season 2
"How's my hair look?" Snoop, Season 5 --- To David Stern and Clay Bennet for Stealing the Sonics
I just wanted to throw those two quotes in there. Just like Maury Levy, Stern is tampering with the game without ever setting foot on the streets. And Seattle better pull a Snoop and make sure they look good before heading to the grave.

9. "Sh*t, you just a boy." - "And that's just a knee." Michael, Season 5 --- To the Future of the NBA, Steph Curry
Don't let his looks deceive you, he is the real deal.